


Lubrication

by ifwednesdaywasaflowerchild



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, bucky is annoyed, lubrication, steve rogers is a shithead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwednesdaywasaflowerchild/pseuds/ifwednesdaywasaflowerchild
Summary: It happens partly because Bucky wakes up one morning barely able to move his arm and partly because Steve is a little shit. Okay. Mostly because Steve is a little shit. Or, the fic in which Bucky has problems with his metal arm, Steve buys lube, and Tony pays for everything.





	Lubrication

**Author's Note:**

> re-post of an old story.

  
It happens partly because Bucky wakes up one morning barely able to move his arm and partly because Steve is a little shit.

Okay.

Mostly because Steve is a little shit.

But, Bucky really does wake up one morning barely able to move his arm. The metal creaks and makes a sound akin to bones breaking when he moves his fingers and bending his arm is nearly impossible.

"Go see Stark," Steve stacks an ungodly number of pancakes on a plate, sliding a pad of butter between each, and when he's sufficiently stacked them, he drowns them in syrup because Bucky has a sweet tooth, all hours of the day. "He should be able to help you."

"'Kay."

He's still sleepy and barely awake, until Steve slides the plate of food in front of him. His eyes widen at the stack of pancakes swimming in syrup and he picks up the fork, prepared to dive right in. He's elbow deep in puddles of syrup and melted butter while Steve savors his food.

"Slow down, Buck." Steve laughs, dropping his fork. "No one's gonna take it away."

"It's just been so long."

Steve nods.

It has been a long time since Bucky's had real food. Steve isn't entirely sure what HYDRA fed him but whatever it was, it wasn't enough, clearly. Because for the first six months under Steve's care, he was eating whatever he could get his hands on. It meant grocery shopping at least four times a week.

"I have an errand to run." Steve pats Bucky's shoulder. "I'll be back in about an hour or so. Stark is probably in his lab. Pepper is out of town so he's kind of insane, right now."

"'Kay."

He doesn't gives the specifics of his errand, because Bucky would make his metal arm work just enough to knock Steve unconscious. And, it's kind of awkward to tell your best friend about the practical joke when they're the butt of it.

...

The CVS down the street is fully stocked.

Apparently - and, this is really remarkable to Steve - lubrication comes in a wide variety of flavors ranging from dark chocolate to some flavors he's certain he's seen on the cartons of Ben & Jerry's Bucky's so fond of bringing home on the rare occasion Steve lets him do the grocery shopping. He buys a couple of bottles in varying flavors.

Generic flavors like strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, and oddball flavors like lemon zest, orange buttercream, and Piña Colada. All in all, it's a good thirty or so bottles of lube. There will be none of the plain lube - the unscented, flavorless stuff.

Nope.

Bucky requires the flavored. Okay - so, if Bucky had any say, he wouldn't require any - but Steve's a dickhead and his best friend doesn't know what he's doing.

The cashier gives him a look when she rings up the numerous bottles of lubrication gel, and Steve rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly explaining; "It's for a practical joke."  
Her lips thin.

"$259.48."

Steve grins and forks over the cash.

The thought has occurred to him that he might regret this. If Bucky lets him live long enough, that is. With his four bags of lube in hand, he sets off to the tower. He spends most of the elevator ride to his floor grinning like a maniac and when he reaches his apartment, he schools his face back to neutral.

"Buck?" he looks around the apartment, hoping like hell Bucky's gone. "Bucky?"

Receiving no answer, he rushes to Bucky's bedroom to begin his work. It takes some time but with some arranging and creativity, he leaves the bottles on the bed and disappears to dispose of the evidence.

Oh, and to wait.  
...

Bucky growls.

Stark hadn't been able to do much aside use a paint brush to slip a little bit of grease between the metal plates and help him bend his arm to work the grease in. It hadn't hurt, it had just made some very uncomfortable sounding noises and it had been a bit of relief when the grease was worked in enough to stop them.

So, he had thanked Stark and left the lab for the safety of the apartment. Steve would be gone for the day - well, sort of. He'd be holed up in Nat's apartment for a couple of hours and emerge with hickeys in hard-to-explain places. Anyway, he'd be able to sulk in silence for a while without being bothered.

Or, so he thinks.

When he stomps into his bedroom, what he finds is not what he expects. There on his bed is _something_.

Tubes and bottles of various colors, sizes, and shapes form what is an obscenely anatomically correct dick. Complete with some spectacularly colored testicles. Upon closer observation, he realizes that the labels all read the same thing.

_Warming Lubrication Jelly._

Oh, that little dickhead.

He was going to kill him.

Steve has done a lot of things in his life. Things Bucky's given him some stern fatherly lectures for and some he's laughed his ass off at but this - this tops everything he's ever done. Even throwing up on that Cyclone ride at Coney Island. And, as much as he'd like to be mad at his best friend - he can't help but be amused that Steve would think of this.

Plus, some of it doesn't smell half bad.

"Steven Grant!"

...

Bucky's arm smells like fruit for months and Steve laughs hysterically everytime he goes near him. It doesn't take long for Steve's face to be re-introduced to Bucky's fist of steel and the laughing stops. And, in some logic that cannot be argued by anyone, Tony is the one who foots the bill for Steve's quite necessary orthodontist appointments.  
Nobody laughs at Bucky, after that; although, Steve keeps him stocked in lube.

Tony's funded that, as well.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
